Submit to Self-Destruction

in this poem, i have tried to express the train of thought during self-mutilation and immediately after it...


I didnt want to do it again
but couldnt stop myself.
Consumed by darkness,
i reached out for the blade...
relief...sweet relief...
relief when the skin bursts open...
relief when the blood flows...
relief in this pain...beautiful self-administered pain
this sweet bliss.
The bliss when the cold blade touches the skin,
purifying my mind,
sanctifying my soul.

Then comes the realisation,
feel the silence...
as the aftermath of your actions finally dawn upon you.
feel the disgust...
feel the pain...
feel the tears,
as you watch your blood drip on the floor.
feel the self-loathing...
feel the agony.

Push yourself again...
push yourself to live through another day.
force yourself to look at your punctured skin
and wonder...
wonder what is worth this pain...
wonder what is worth going on like this...
wonder what this life is worth...
and feel this darkness consume you again...